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Patrick McGee & Associates
Psychologists, Counselling Sydney

Relationship Counselling Sydney

A close relationship with another can be a source of comfort, support and fun, but also, at times, a source of distress, frustration and despair. When relationship problems occur, the reasons are generally related to individual problems that arise, as a result of the person’s needs not being met and poor patterns of communication.

Common problems encountered in relationships:

Poor communication:

Poor communication is an area identified particularly in all problems within relationships. The way people talk, or don’t talk, to one another can cause distress and tension within the relationship. When examining common problems seen in communication the following negative patterns have been identified.

Being demanding or withdrawing when communicating - In this style of communication the person adopts a demanding, intrusive or pushy approach, while the other partner withdraws or refuses to respond

The use of negative emotions & labels when communicating - This is where manipulation occurs when one or both persons resort to negative emotions such as anger and sadness, while labelling involves referring to your partner, instead of the situation, as “dumb”, “frustrating” or “annoying”. 

Insensitivity to each other’s concerns - This is generally displayed when one person fails to respond to concerns of the other, or does not acknowledge or show understanding. This could be the result of competing interests (i.e.; being engrossed in sport on the television).

Poor problem-solving:

Problem solving is a critical skill necessary to generate effective solutions to the multitude of complex daily problems that people living together in relationships have to face. Common problems encountered when trying to problem-solve include:

Failing to identify the actual problem -  We often fail to recognize just exactly what the problem is, instead relying on our own assumption of the situation, without first talking about the problem.

Not thinking widely for all possible solutions before choosing one - Often we will jump to conclusions about how to fix something without thinking about all the options.

Not discussing and involving your partner in selecting, implementing and reviewing the strategy - At times we try to solve relationship problems without involving our partner. We deny him or her the opportunity to be involved and share in the process and may tend to blame one another when things go wrong, rather than working together on the issue.

Inadequate partner support:

In order for relationships to survive and flourish both partners need to feel they are receiving adequate support.  Having these needs met is a combination of each partner having realistic expectations about the others ability to meet their needs, creating an environment where both partners are aware of and able to meet each other’ needs for support. Common problems in this area include:

 Having unrealistic expectations about your needs - It is important to be realistic in assessing what your needs are in terms of partner support. Relying solely on your partner to meet all your support needs is likely to be unrealistic and place too many demands on your partner.

 Placing unrealistic demands on your partner - Sometimes relationships become strained when unrealistic demands and expectations are placed on the other and does not take into consideration the partner’s humanness.
 
Failing to communicate and problem solve to enable needs to be met - Often arguments occur when one partner is upset that the other has not remembered or done something that they may not have communicated effectively. In this case, things get worse when communication and problem solving is not used effectively to generate alternate solutions to meet needs.

(Source: The Australian Psychological Society)

Couples Counselling Sydney

Marriage counselling, also called couples therapy, helps couples, married or not, understand and resolve conflicts or improve their relationship. Marriage counselling gives couples the tools to communicate better, negotiate differences, problem solve and even argue in a healthier way.

Marriage counselling is often short-term, a few sessions to help you weather a crisis. Or you may need marriage counselling for several months, particularly if your relationship has greatly deteriorated. As with individual psychotherapy, you typically see a marriage counselor once a week.

Marriage counselling can benefit you if you or your partner are dealing with any of these issues or situations that can cause stress in a relationship:

• Infidelity
• Divorce
• Substance abuse
• Physical or mental conditions
• Same-sex relationship issues
• Cultural clashes
• Finances

• Unemployment
• Blended families
• Communication problems
• Sexual difficulties
• Conflicts about child rearing
• Infertility
• Anger